Why am I a Computer Science Major?

Written by Walter Chang

To the tune of: Hotel California, by The Eagles

In a dark deserted lab room
Typing up my code
Box of take-out Chinese
Messed-up addressing modes
Three AM in the morning
The monitor burns so bright
Eyelids grew heavy, and my sight grew dim
But I can't stop for the night
I saw the syntax errors
The compiler complained
And I was thinking to myself
What is it that's gotten into my brain?
I corrected the errors
And I began a new build
Seventy-two hours of coding
Will really break your will

So I'm just a computer science major
I've got so much stress
I've got so much stress (background)
I failed all my tests
Lots of fun as a computer science major
We code for weeks
We code for weeks (background)
But we're not geeks
But we're not geeks

My mind is completely twisted
My brain's completely snapped
By these logic gates and Turing machines
And those Karnaugh maps
Registers dance in memory
Clobbering the temps
Some values you remember
Some values you forget
So I called up the professor
Can I have more time?
He said
I haven't given an extension here since 1969
And your project from done's still very far away
So you stay up through the middle of the night
And then you will say

Why am I a computer science major?
The work never ends
The work never ends (background)
And I've got no friends
What good is a computer science major?
You will be surprised
You will be surprised (background)
When the jobs arrive

Phosphor dots as your output
Your social life on ice
And we say
We are all just crazy bastards
(But we're really nice)
And though our skin's pale
And our glasses all have tape
When we graduate from this place
The stock options will be great
Last thing I remember
As my code slipped away
I had realized I had just stayed up another whole day
And then I got an error
That I just couldn't believe
Once you get sucked into the major
Then you can never leave...

[repeat, fade out, etc]

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