A Midsummer Night's AOL

Have you ever wondered what happens in those AOL chat rooms? Is there any intelligent, worthwhile discussion going on, or are they all populated by hormonally challenged teenagers with terrible grammar swearing at each other? Is the Internet and the medium of Instant Messenging bringing fast, meaningful communications to everyone, or is it all a bunch of blather and trash?

One evening, Marika and I decide to find out. Let's pick a chat room with a low probability of encountering High Culture, say, the Britney Spears room. Let's pick a classic play by Shakespeare, say, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and each take a bunch of the roles. And let's head over there and act it out!

What follows is an edited transcript of what transpired. Our actual screen names have been changed to Shakespeare0001 and Shakespeare0002, for me and Marika, respectively.

WARNING: Some material not appropriate for children.

You have just entered room "Britney Spears."

Shakespeare0002: ::waves to Shakespeare0001::

gman799365usa: any ladies want to chat?

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

creepy0701: nice pics

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

creepy0701: nice pics

CRSguy98: hey all

What a place. Perfect. I see depressingly little intelligence here, which shall make the two hour's traffic of our chat all the more interesting...

Shakespeare0001: Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace; four happy days bring in another moon:but oh, methinks, how slow this old moon wanes! she lingers my desires, like to a step-dame or a dowager, long withering out a young man's revenue

Shakespeare0002: four days will quickly steep themselves in night; four nights will quickly dream away the time; and then the moon, like to a silver bow new-bent in heaven, shall behold the night of our solemnities

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

creepy0701: 22/m/ca

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

Shakespeare0001: Go, Philostrate, stir up the Athenian youth to merriments; awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth; turn melancholy forth to funerals - the pale companion is not for our pomp.

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

GendouSir: BRITNEY FARTED

GendouSir: FART

GendouSir: FART

Shakespeare0001: Hippolyta, I woo'd thee with my sword, and won thy love doing thee injuries; but I will wed thee in another key, with pomp, with triumph, and with reveling.

GendouSir: CHECK MY FART

EDDIE DE PAZ: want to see britney new boobs?

GendouSir: YEAH!!!!!!!!

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

hotboytoy10: yeah

Shakespeare0001: Happy be Theseus, our renowned Duke!

GendouSir: YOU NEED VIAGRA

EDDIE DE PAZ: just give me a minute

mandr b15: 15/f/cali

hotboytoy10: :-P

missil8F: 18f Rate me click here to see my pic

Shakespeare0001: Thank you, good Egeus: what's the news with thee?

AOL Instant Messenger chatrooms. You will never find a more wretched hive of blather and immaturity. Let's edit this down a bit, shall we? Especially missil8F, who appears to be a bot. We have a bit more of the usual blather...

RoloGogoBox2002: 16/m in ca

GendouSir: FART

calidude69: ARE THERE ANY CHICKS FROM SO.CAL HERE

boilax: musicgirl u suck

calidude69: A/S/LOC CHECK

boilax: cali sucks

calidude69: ANY HOT CHICKS THAT WANNA CHAT WITH A HOT 19/M/LIFEGUARD SO.CAL

GendouSir: penis

JUHHSSTIN: no, its sexyteen.net

GendouSir: es

JUHHSSTIN: not her pic

Shakespeare0001: Full of vexation come I, with complaint against my child, my daughter Hermia - Stand forth, Demetrius. - My noble lord, this man hath my consent to marry her. Stand forth, Lysander, and my gracious duke, this hath bewithced the bosom of my child. Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes, and interchang'd love-tokens with my child:

JUHHSSTIN: THE CHAT IS BRITNEY SPEARS, not porno nights

GendouSir: I HAVE BIG AMERICAN PENIS

JUHHSSTIN: then suck it

GendouSir: IN YOUR HAIR

GendouSir: BALLS

GendouSir: BALLS

GendouSir: COCKENBALLS

GendouSir: COCKENBALLS

GendouSir: COCKENBALLS

It becomes quite clear, the mood and atmosphere of this place, non? There's about a few dozen more lines of this. It gets real old. The situation with the other inhabitants of the room is not improving.

Shakespeare0001: Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung, with feigning voice, verses of feigning love, and sol'n the impression of her fantasy with bracelets of thy hair, rings, gawds, conciets, knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweatmeats, messengers of strong prevailment in unhardn'd youth - with cunning hast thou filch'd my daughter's heart; turned her obedience, which is due to me, to stubborn harshness.

GendouSir: HMM....

TheHairyPeanut: no your dad & uncle

GendouSir: ILL HAVE TO TELL JSTIN, HELL PISS HIMSELF

GendouSir: PEE

GendouSir: PEE

GendouSir: PEEEE

GendouSir: PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It looks like CrunkinChicka has come to the startling realization that this chat room sucks... well, we're about to change that.

Surfer9081: if it is well i think your pretty hot

CrunkinChicka: hey

playalindaboy13: hey everybody

Jaguar1759: any horny females with pic's here wanna chat or cyber press 835 and im me

CrunkinChicka: hi

Jaguar1759: any horny females with pic's here wanna chat or cyber press 835 and im me

CrunkinChicka: stop 18f rate my pic girl

CrunkinChicka: ur ugly and annoying

CrunkinChicka: stop

Krimson313: LoL

CrunkinChicka: gosh this room sucks monkey

creepy0701: hello room

GBrandonG: yea

LordRational: amen

CrunkinChicka: especiallly missil8f

Krimson313: LoL

anything152: Hahah yea I am outy

LordRational: true

playalindaboy13: hey crunkin

CrunkinChicka: hey

playalindaboy13: wanna chat personal?

CrunkinChicka: shoots

playalindaboy13: sex talk?

CrunkinChicka: asl

Typing out the play is proving rather bothersome. Let's find an online text and start copying and pasting. It'll save us from carpal tunnel, and let us go much faster, drowning out all those hot sexy barely 18 horny teens looking for chat.

No mercy! Let's show the Shakespeare whether they want it or not! Full cut-and-paste speed ahead!

Shakespeare0002: so is Lysander

Shakespeare0001: In himself he is; But in this kind, wanting your father's voice, The other must be held the worthier.

CrunkinChicka: no thanks

Shakespeare0002: I would my farther look'd but with my eyes

Shakespeare0001: Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.

GFOverkill: haha

Shakespeare0002: I do entreat your grace to pardon me. I know not by what power I am made bold, Nor how it may concern my modesty, In such a presence here to plead my thoughts; But I beseech your grace that I may know The worst that may befall me in this case, If I refuse to wed Demetrius.

Shakespeare0001: Either to die the death or to abjure For ever the society of men. Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires; Know of your youth, examine well your blood, Whether, if you yield not to your father's choice, You can endure the livery of a nun, For aye to be in shady cloister mew'd,

Shakespeare0001: To live a barren sister all your life, Chanting faint hymns to the cold fruitless moon. Thrice-blessed they that master so their blood, To undergo such maiden pilgrimage; But earthlier happy is the rose distill'd, Than that which withering on the virgin thorn Grows, lives and dies in single blessedness.

GFOverkill: use bigger words Shakespeare0001

Shakespeare0002: So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord, Ere I will my virgin patent up Unto his lordship, whose unwished yoke My soul consents not to give sovereignty.

Shakespeare0001: Take time to pause; and, by the next new moon-- The sealing-day betwixt my love and me, For everlasting bond of fellowship-- Upon that day either prepare to die For disobedience to your father's will, Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would; Or on Diana's altar to protest For aye austerity and single life.

Ah, much better. People begin to take notice that something has changed... and JDaniels80 goes and brings his friends along.

J Daniels80: what the hell

RoloGogoBox2002: caca

Shakespeare0002: My good Lysander! I swear to thee, by Cupid's strongest bow, By his best arrow with the golden head, By the simplicity of Venus' doves, By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves, And by that fire which burn'd the Carthage queen,

Shakespeare0002: When the false Troyan under sail was seen, By all the vows that ever men have broke, In number more than ever women spoke, In that same place thou hast appointed me, To-morrow truly will I meet with thee.

Shakespeare0001: Keep promise, love. Look, here comes Helena.

Shakespeare0002: God speed fair Helena! whither away?

Shakespeare0002: Call you me fair? that fair again unsay. Demetrius loves your fair: O happy fair! Your eyes are lode-stars; and your tongue's sweet air More tuneable, than lark to shepherd's ear, When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear.

The real fun begins here

J Daniels80: yeah here

Shakespeare0002: Take comfort: he no more shall see my face; Lysander and myself will fly this place. Before the time I did Lysander see, Seem'd Athens as a paradise to me: O, then, what graces in my love do dwell, That he hath turn'd a heaven unto a hell!

Shakespeare0001: Helen, to you our minds we will unfold: To-morrow night, when Phoebe doth behold Her silver visage in the watery glass, Decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass, A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal, Through Athens' gates have we devised to steal.

satansToaster: I bite my thumb at thee

theodaisy: Shakespeare0002, who are you talking to??

Super Status3000: see the chosen 1 at http://www.geocities.com/jaytwothousand/FullBlooded_South.html

satansToaster: and flippith thee off

Shakespeare0002: And in the wood, where often you and I Upon faint primrose-beds were wont to lie, Emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet, There my Lysander and myself shall meet; And thence from Athens turn away our eyes, To seek new friends and stranger companies.

starburstvendor: 12/f/az IM me to chat i am so bored i will chat with anyone and please dont ask to cyber cuz i dont

Shakespeare0002: Farewell, sweet playfellow: pray thou for us; And good luck grant thee thy Demetrius! Keep word, Lysander: we must starve our sight From lovers' food till morrow deep midnight.

Shakespeare0001: I will, my Hermia. Helena, adieu: As you on him, Demetrius dote on you!

satansToaster: fuck you and your shitspeare

Shakespeare0002: How happy some o'er other some can be! Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.

Shakespeare0002: But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so; He will not know what all but he do know: And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,

Shakespeare0002: So I, admiring of his qualities: Things base and vile, holding no quantity, Love can transpose to form and dignity: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind: Nor hath Love's mind of any judgement taste; Wings and no eyes figure, unheedy haste:

Shakespeare0002: And therefore is Love said to be a child, Because in choice he is so oft beguiled. As waggish boys in game themselves forswear, So the boy Love is perjured every where:

satansToaster: Oh how fuckwitted are thou, you should be taken out the way of Columbine style

Shakespeare0002: For ere Demetrius look'd on Hermia's eyne, He hail'd down oaths that he was only mine; And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt, So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt.

J Daniels80: hehe

J Daniels80: bam

Shakespeare0002: I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight: Then to the wood will he to-morrow night Pursue her; and for this intelligence If I have thanks, it is a dear expense: But herein mean I to enrich my pain, To have his sight thither and back again.

Shakespeare0001: Is all our company here?

Shakespeare0001: You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the scrip.

Shakespeare0001: Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his wedding-day at night.

satansToaster: okay thats it

Shakespeare0001: First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow to a point.

Shakespeare0001: Marry, our play is, The most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe.

Spitfire3132: i do gizmo

Shakespeare0001: A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.

They start responding to us...

J Daniels80: oh bloody hell

Shakespeare0001: Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.

MIKYC90: britney sucks

Shakespeare0001: Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.

J Daniels80: you will play the negro part

Shakespeare0001: You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

Shakespeare0001: What is Pyramus? a lover, or a tyrant?

Shakespeare0001: A lover, that kills himself most gallant for love.

Shakespeare0001: That will ask some tears in the true performing of it: if I do it, let the audience look to their eyes; I will move storms, I will condole in some measure. To the rest: yet my chief humour is for a tyrant: I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split.

J Daniels80: cause niggas just want some ass

Shakespeare0001: The raging rocks And shivering shocks Shall break the locks Of prison gates; And Phibbus' car Shall shine from far And make and mar The foolish Fates.

Shakespeare0001: This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players. This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover is more condoling.

satansToaster: For thou niggers want intercourse the way of the anus

Shakespeare0001: Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

J Daniels80: hehe

Shakespeare0001: Flute, you must take Thisbe on you.

J Daniels80: Bubba, the prison inmate

Shakespeare0001: What is Thisbe? a wandering knight?

satansToaster: no its a gay black guy

Shakespeare0001: It is the lady that Pyramus must love.

J Daniels80: a fat black crippled dyke

Shakespeare0001: Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.

Shakespeare0001: That's all one: you shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will.

satansToaster: hey michelle your a fat skank

Shakespeare0001: An I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too, I'll speak in a monstrous little voice. 'Thisne, Thisne;' 'Ah, Pyramus, lover dear! thy Thisbe dear, and lady dear!'

Shakespeare0001: No, no; you must play Pyramus: and, Flute, you Thisbe.

J Daniels80: you should have no problem playing the part of a woman

Shakespeare0001: Well, proceed.

Shakespeare0001: Robin Starveling, the tailor.

J Daniels80: without cock and balls you are the same

satansToaster: hahaha

Shakespeare0001: Here, Peter Quince

Shakespeare0001: Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe's mother. Tom Snout, the tinker.

Shakespeare0001: Here, Peter Quince.

y1NBoI247: ewwwwwwwwww

Shakespeare0001: You, Pyramus' father: myself, Thisbe's father: Snug, the joiner; you, the lion's part: and, I hope, here is a play fitted.

y1NBoI247: gayass homo brit spears

satansToaster: reinforements have arrived JD

Shakespeare0001: Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.

y1NBoI247: oh baby

y1NBoI247: wat i miss

Shakespeare0001: You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.

satansToaster: shitspeare

J Daniels80: the lion eats people you fucking tart

Shakespeare0001: Let me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will do any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar, that I will make the duke say 'Let him roar again, let him roar again.'

y1NBoI247: HEY U CAN ROAR ALL U WANT

Shakespeare0001: An you should do it too terribly, you would fright the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.

J Daniels80: cue the armed 15 year olds

y1NBoI247: IM STILL GONNA EAT U

Shakespeare0001: That would hang us, every mother's son

Shakespeare0001: I grant you, friends, if that you should fright the ladies out of their wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us: but I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.

Shakespeare0001: You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man: therefore you must needs play Pyramus.

They're about to give up when...

elite9x:

y1NBoI247: er......

y1NBoI247: . . .

Shakespeare0001: Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?

y1NBoI247: ur lame ass jokes arent cutting it

Shakespeare0001: Why, what you will

J Daniels80: the bearded clam

Shakespeare0001: I will discharge it in either your straw-colour beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French-crown-colour beard, your perfect yellow.

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Shakespeare0001: Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request you and desire you, to con them by to-morrow night;

Shakespeare0001: and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with company, and our devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of properties, such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not.

J Daniels80: the french will die

y1NBoI247: ERRRR

y1NBoI247: THIS GUYS A WACK

Shakespeare0001: We will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect: adieu.

y1NBoI247: WAT U READING KID?

Shakespeare0001: At the duke's oak we meet.

Shakespeare0001: Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.

Spitfire3132: is it a cockfest in here? or what

y1NBoI247: I THINK U ARE PLAGERIZIN

J Daniels80: how the fuck do you rehearse obscenely

elite9x: •.'~[CKOWA]~'.•

J Daniels80: fuck each other in the ass?

elite9x: •.'~[CKOWA]~'.•

elite9x: •.'~[KOWAC]~'.•

elite9x: •.'~[OWACK]~'.•

elite9x: •.'~[WACKO]~'.•

Spitfire3132: or should i say weinny roast

Oh. Now they start insulting.

y1NBoI247: stfu missi

Shakespeare0001: How now, spirit! whither wander you?

Shakespeare0002: Over hill, over dale, Thorough bush, thorough brier, Over park, over pale, Thorough flood, thorough fire,

y1NBoI247: er

y1NBoI247: this guys lame

Shakespeare0002: I do wander everywhere, Swifter than the moon's sphere; And I serve the fairy queen, To dew her orbs upon the green.

Shakespeare0001: The king doth keep his revels here to-night: Take heed the queen come not within his sight; For Oberon is passing fell and wrath, Because that she as her attendant hath A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king; She never had so sweet a changeling; And jealous Oberon would have the child Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;

Shakespeare0002: The cowslips tall her pensioners be: In their gold coats spots you see; Those be rubies, fairy favours, In those freckles live their savours:

Shakespeare0001: But she perforce withholds the loved boy, Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy: And now they never meet in grove or green, By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen, But, they do square, that all their elves for fear Creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

y1NBoI247: he cant say it in english so hes copying stuff from the net

y1NBoI247: copy, paste

y1NBoI247: www.sexxyteen.net

y1NBoI247: right missi

y1NBoI247: im sure ur pic is there

Shakespeare0001: Either I mistake your shape and making quite, Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he That frights the maidens of the villagery; Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;

Shakespeare0001: And sometime make the drink to bear no barm; Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm? Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck, You do their work, and they shall have good luck: Are not you he?

y1NBoI247: STFU

y1NBoI247: u HO

Shakespeare0002: Thou speak'st aright; I am that merry wanderer of the night.

Shakespeare0002: I jest to Oberon and make him smile When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile, Neighing in likeness of a filly foal:

Spitfire3132: peace

y1NBoI247: i speak'st right me ass is itching

Shakespeare0002: And sometime lurk I in a gossip's bowl, In very likeness of a roasted crab, And when she drinks, against her lips I bob And on her wither'd dewlap pour the ale.

Shakespeare0002: The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale, Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me; Then slip I from her bum, down topples she, And 'tailor' cries, and falls into a cough; And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh, And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear A merrier hour was never wasted there. But, room, fairy! here comes Oberon.

Shakespeare0001: And here my mistress. Would that he were gone!

Spitfire3132: bout to bump KITTIE so peace to all

Spitfire3132: Lates

Shakespeare0001: Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.

Shakespeare0002: What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence: I have forsworn his bed and company.

Shakespeare0001: Tarry, rash wanton: am not I thy lord?

mickeychampagne: miss Im me will ya

Shakespeare0002: Then I must be thy lady

CWP102880: sup room

mickeychampagne: Miss18f

We're winning!

y1NBoI247: ok this is brit spears chat room

Shakespeare0002: but I know When thou hast stolen away from fairy land, And in the shape of Corin sat all day, Playing on pipes of corn and versing love To amorous Phillida.

Shakespeare0002: Why art thou here, Come from the farthest steep of India? But that, forsooth, the bouncing Amazon, Your buskin'd mistress and your warrior love, To Theseus must be wedded, and you come To give their bed joy and prosperity.

y1NBoI247: y dun u slap ur ass a couple times and stfu

Shakespeare0001: How canst thou thus for shame, Titania, Glance at my credit with Hippolyta, Knowing I know thy love to Theseus? Didst thou not lead him through the glimmering night From Perigenia, whom he ravished? And make him with fair Aegle break his faith, With Ariadne and Antiopa?

They're conceding defeat!

Shakespeare0001: I love thee not, therefore pursue me not. Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? The one I'll slay, the other slayeth me. Thou told'st me they were stolen unto this wood; And here am I, and wode within this wood, Because I cannot meet my Hermia. Hence, get thee gone, and follow me no more.

Shakespeare0002: You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant; But yet you draw not iron, for my heart Is true as steel: leave you your power to draw, And I shall have no power to follow you.

Shakespeare0001: Do I entice you? do I speak you fair? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth Tell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you?

Shakespeare0002: And even for that do I love you the more. I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius, The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:

Aj Cubby: (¯¨·.[ ChaT Fü¢KïÑ CleareD

Shakespeare0001: Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit; For I am sick when I do look on thee.

Aj Cubby: (¯¨·.[ ChaT Fü¢KïÑ CleareD

Shakespeare0001: You do impeach your modesty too much, To leave the city and commit yourself Into the hands of one that loves you not; To trust the opportunity of night And the ill counsel of a desert place With the rich worth of your virginity.

LordRational: yeah, whats wrong with u

LordRational: dont impeach ur modesty

Shakespeare0002: Your virtue is my privilege: for that It is not night when I do see your face, Therefore I think I am not in the night; Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company, For you in my respect are all the world: Then how can it be said I am alone, When all the world is here to look on me?

Shakespeare0001: I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes, And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts.

LordRational: yeah, he loves u

Shakespeare0002: The wildest hath not such a heart as you. Run when you will, the story shall be changed: Apollo flies, and Daphne holds the chase; The dove pursues the griffin; the mild hind Makes speed to catch the tiger; bootless speed, When cowardice pursues and valour flies.

Aj Cubby: Fuck You ShaunK2003.

Shakespeare0001: I will not stay thy questions; let me go: Or, if thou follow me, do not believe But I shall do thee mischief in the wood.

ShaunK2003: mmm...

Aj Cubby: DIE ItsPyro23.

ShaunK2003: feels fucking nice...

Aj Cubby: Blow Me Shakespeare0001.

Shakespeare0002: Ay, in the temple, in the town, the field, You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius! Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex: We cannot fight for love, as men may do; We should be wooed and were not made to woo.

Alright, we've had enough fun. Time to make our exit.

Shakespeare0001: With a disdainful youth: anoint his eyes; But do it when the next thing he espies May be the lady: thou shalt know the man By the Athenian garments he hath on. Effect it with some care, that he may prove More fond on her than she upon her love: And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow.

Shakespeare0001: Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.

Shakespeare0001: *takes a bow*

Shakespeare0002: Come, now a roundel and a fairy song; Then, for the third part of a minute, hence; Some to kill cankers in the musk-rose buds, Some war with rere-mice for their leathern wings, To make my small elves coats, and some keep back The clamorous owl that nightly hoots and wonders At our quaint spirits. Sing me now asleep; Then to your offices and let me rest.

Aj Cubby: (¯¨·.[ Ï££ü÷ïøñZ BETA

Aj Cubby: •[ Distortion Booting:

Shakespeare0002: ::curtsies and accepts the roses thrown at her feet::

Aj Cubby: •[ Distortion Booting:

Shakespeare0001: *smiles and takes another bow*

furiousgeorgeHGA: i like pie

bubba3254: i dont

furiousgeorgeHGA: me either

Shakespeare0002: ::waves to the crowd:: If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here While these visions did appear.

Aj Cubby: ¥öµ ãll $µ¢|‹ dî¢|‹¡

Aj Cubby: Gö ƒµ¢|‹ ýöµ®$èlvè$

Shakespeare0002: ::takes Shakespeare0001's hand, executes a curtsy perfectly timed with his bow, and leaves the room::

Well, that provided a good evening's entertainment!